Today’s Republicans: Anti-Constitutional, corrupt Pedophiles and Convicts.

It’s true. Leading Teapubbies are pretty much guaranteed to fit into or more of those categories. For proof, one need only browse the news of the day:

Anti-Constitutional: in a clear and massive violation of the Establishment Clause, Steve Palazzo sent Christian Bibles to every other member of Congress to help them make good decisions. Uhmmmm, Stevie Boi, the law of the land forbids the making of laws based on religion. Really. Look it up.

Corrupt: the Repub Majority Whip used a lobbyist to help hire and fire his staff. Yes. Yes, he did:

Quinn Gillespie & Associates’ John Feehery sat in on and participated in multiple official interviews with job candidates last month for the new majority whip’s press operation. Scalise has not yet announced who he will name as his communications director.
Sometimes lawmakers rely on lobbyists for strategic advice. But inviting a lobbyist into an interview is highly unusual. Several ethics lawyers and current and former leadership aides said they have never heard of a similar arrangement.

Pedophiles: Ted fucking Nugent is a practicing serial child-molester, and he is well-loved by Repubs across the nation. And Duck Daddy Phil Robertson advocates marrying underage girls. In fact, he did so himself.

Convicts: Dinesh D’Souza, a self-admitted and convicted felon, will…oh Hell, I’ll just quote the article:

Dinesh D’Souza, a conservative author and filmmaker who in May pleaded guilty to making illegal campaign contributions, will give the keynote speech at the West Virginia Republican Party’s annual “Victory Dinner” in September.

D’Souza will speak at the fundraiser in Charleston on Sept. 19, four days before he is scheduled to be sentenced in federal court on one felony count of campaign finance law violation.
“Dinesh D’Souza has been a warrior for more than 20 years for conservative values and solutions to some of our most difficult problems as a nation, like education and immigration,” state Republican Party Chairman Conrad Lucas said in an email announcing D’Souza’s appearance. “We are proud to bring him to West Virginia at such an important time in our state’s Republican turn to red.”

Got that? These people are not bad apples in the barrel: they are lauded and exalted by the rest of the fruits in that container. Child molesters, thieves, whores and felons: those, my friends, are the very model of the New Republican Party. They lead it, promote it, belong to it, and vote for it. They are what the party of Lincoln has become.

Vote for a Republican, and you signal your support for child abuse and other disgusting, Anti-American acts.
Vote against them if, well, you DON’T support child abuse and other disgusting, Anti-American acts.

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Beards and Blasphemy: the Duck Dynasty Bible

No, I am not kidding: the faux rednecks of Duck Dynasty are selling their own modified and “improved” Bible. From the article:

In October, the world will be graced with “The Duck Commander Faith and Family Bible”–a King James translation of the Good Book that will, of course, include features about the family of fauxbillies.
Along with your daily dose of Duck-Jesus, you will find a number of extras, like “30 life-changing testimonials along with 125 ‘Set Your Sights’ features” from Robertson and son Alan–and if that’s not enough, the father and son duo will outline 52 whole reading plans!

As we all know, Duck Daddy claims to hold to a strictly literal reading of the Bible. Such being the case, I’d like to offer a few choice verses from said Holy Writ:

Revelation 22:18, King James Version:
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book.

Matthew 6:5, King James Version:
And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

And finally, Matthew 21:12, King James Version:
And Jesus went into the temple of God, and cast out all them that sold and bought in the temple, and overthrew the tables of the moneychangers, and the seats of them that sold doves.

Kind of hard to see how an alleged biblical scholar could be ignorant of these three bits of scripture, you might say. And I’d agree with you. So Phillie and Willie and Co. are, deliberately and with malice aforethought, violating the teachings of their supposed Holy Book in multiple ways, all the while pretending to be holier than thou.

“Blasphemy” hardly begins to cover it.

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